To be Disabled...Masculinity and Sexuality and true identity.

So, we went over disability and race as well as sexuality and masculinity. I figure I will try to go over some if not all. I can not help, but think of how people with disabilities have felt during the pre 1900's. People today are still dealing with a lot of ableism today, but then it was to an extreme. Many of the people with disabilities were exploited to entertain the able bodied people. We see movies about this and probably read stories and seen some form of still art. These exploitations were called "Freak Shows," and most were there to be laughed at, some beaten, and to fulfill some of our sick curiosities. Many were seen as immoral or sinful, even evil or possessed. I try to imagine myself in this same time with a disability, and it really saddens me how cruel and evil man itself can be. I know I am in my own opinion privileged for my able body and I will never know the true horror and ridicule and how it feels as the people with disability do, but I can definitely feel for them in that sense.

I then look at people I know in wheelchairs or with a mental illness or anything seen as other than normal and I respect them, not because they are disabled and I feel I should in pity, but I respect them for the every day life they have to live. I respect them for pushing forward and doing their best to not let society get to them and tell them they can’t, yet as we know, they can. I then respect them for them and who they are personally. I think many people almost forget people in wheelchairs or people with a mental disability are less than human and they tend to treat them in that way. Maybe not out rite, but you can tell by their actions or the way they may stair in shock or disbelief. Then I think of how hard it may be for the disabled white man and see how tough they have it and try to really feel how it may feel being a disabled black man/woman, a woman, gay, or lesbian to name a few. How about if more than one was to interject with each other?

Now this is were I remember reading the story about Sharon who was in a head on collision and how she became paralyzed due to it. She was a lesbian with her commited partner Karen. Karen was with Sharon through the time of recover in the hospital and nursed Sharon the best she could when she was visiting. Karen more than likely knew more about Sharon and her needs than anyone else, but that did not stop Sharon's family from taking full guardianship and making it impossible for Karen and Sharon to see each other. They would say Sharon can not think for herself, or do anything for herself. They put Sharon in a home were she did not get the proper treatment for her recovery and all this in my opinion is because they did not want to let Karen see Sharon. I think if Karen was a man, then everything would be different. If The two were not in love with each other and commit ed partners, things would have been different. I believe many things would have been different. It took over three years for Karen to finally see Sharon again and over Eight years of lawsuits and court to finally get guardianship for Sharon even though Sharon clearly stated that she wanted to be with Karen.

Then you look at the story about a disabled person who made a porn video. I think what she did, was great and more need to do things like this. Not necessary everyone make a porn video, but something. Ideas like this are very productive in our society and for those who are disabled or anyone that can be looked at as "the other" in my personal opinion. It really saddened me to see towards the end of this story that a woman with a disability came to the disabled gay porn actor who was a woman as well to say "Thank you." She was so happy to see the video and thought it was never possible for people like her to be sexual or many people with disabilities are told they will never have a romantic relationship.

As far as disability and masculinity, I found it very interesting how it showed this in the movie "Murder Ball." I think most of the men in this film who were quadriplegic showed a lot of masculinity. The men all talked about girls as men tend to do whether the content is respectable or not, they showed a very competitive edge and even violence at times. Joe was a very tough loving father to his son and I find it funny in a way that the way I see his son, I see his son wanting to make his dad proud and I felt that the son feels he will never live up to his dads expectations and be as good as his father. One of the biggest things I noticed that the worry about sex and if they could still be active was one of the biggest concerns. This was very important to them. Most of these signs here on the men with disabilities show they still maintain their masculinity. If anything, they show more in ways to compensate for their disability. The actions and their doings mentioned are all different signs for masculinity.

So, I did a little more search on this and I found this clip that I got from You Tube from the MSP(The Men's Story Project)The presenter is, Leroy Franklin Moore Jr. discussing race, masculinity, sexuality and disability. Leroy Moore himself has a disability and is a black man. Watching this to me really hit it home for me and think you may appreciate it as well. Here is the video clip from his spoken word at the event and I was able to find the actual poem/spoken word he read from below the video.


man to man talk

hey you, stop stop i’m right behind you

i’m black like you my brother
yeah, the black cripple
look at me. look at me
hear this. hear this

but lets go back. born DOA, dead on arrival

caused lack of oxygen to the brain
CP cerebral palsy POC person of color
big black football player, my dad
in the waiting room, didn’t like the doctor’s news
men in white suits pumping my chest, eyes opened
welcome to the living leroy

my life
black and disabled
home was stable
adults thought i was unable

like pennies i have been
flipped dual identities
my two communities don’t want me
felt like i was homeless

my childhood haunts me
children were ruthless
racism & ableism created a mask

i continue to see single black mothers with their disabled sons
husbands gone. could not deal
mothers strong. had to be real
black disabled boys from broken homes
lingering questions. did dad leave because of me?

girlfriends not a reality
women want my advice but can’t see me as a mate
black disabled men are in a stalemate
will i die a single man?

but it’s another cold night
the isley brothers singing between the sheets
while black disabled men sleeping on the streets
sex education came from the lusty lady
it’s a lonely world

self –empowerment, self love, putting society’s attitudes on the shelf
black sisters don’t know what they are missing
she, a black woman
me, a black disabled man
we were trained to fear, compete and not talk to one another
is this why all my intimate relationships are with white women?

race plus disability divided by sexuality = huh?
i was 3\5 of a person
with a disability i’m not even on the goddamn scale
disability & masculinity? can we talk?

black masculinity has to make room for my body
ask teddy pendergrass
the black stallion of the 70’s & 80’s
regained his sexuality as a wheelchair user

now that is the true strength of a man
black disabled and masculine
morris day, what time is it? somebody bring me a mirror
cause i know i’m fine

masculinity mixing with femininity
i came from a woman and a man
my sexuality goes deeper from what you can see
but you treat me like ralph ellison’s invisible man
bumping up against our shadows

it took twenty years to walk with my head up
saying black is beautiful and
disability is gorgeous
too sexy for society’s straight jacket
wearing my sexuality on my sleeve
my body, mind and soul stepping into the spotlight

you see society tries to put me down
but you can’t keep a good man down
this is a message to all my black disabled brothers
feel your masculinity and step into your sexuality
brothers, it’s time we all had a man-to-man talk”